college station

this weekend. i hope i get trapped there by the hurricane. go gustav!

so i ran the day before yesterday. i opted out of biking in the park, and was going to try to discover the city on foot a little. it was highly enjoyable and i plan to do it again tonight. even though i have mind blowing shin splints. i'm not used to running on pavement.

anyways. i ran through the neighborhood across from my apartment. it's a mix of old and new. the new being extremely nice McMansions. well that isn't fair. some are tasteful. but all are large. the new loom over the older houses in a kind of daunting way. as if they're daring their owner to tear down the sad pathetic old house and replace it with a large energy eating monster.

ok. i sound a little bitter. i think because i love those old homes. the brick. i love the brick. the neighborhood reminded me of my mema's back in dallas. i adored her house. it was large and full of love and very old. we had to sell it after she died, and the new owner assholes tore it down to build their own McMansion. i loved that place (and my mema) a lot.

my run basically turned into sightseeing. i probably looked creepy and stalkerish. sweating and red and huffing. slowing to a walk when i saw a gorgeous house. most had big front windows. and it was dinner time. and as i was admiring these houses it probably looked like i was staring at the families as well...oh well. i plan on doing the same thing again tonight.

it also made me realize i missed my own family. very much.

When life hands you lemons

paint that shit gold.

Get into the car and you point it at the west

one of these days i'm really going to get out of here....i swear. i just want to plan my escape a little better first. then i'm on the first train westbound. to the mountains.

I don't do lunch

and i still don't have internet at my apartment. so i am doing this now. at lunch.

so, new town for awhile now. it's still not sinking in. maybe because i don't have a couch still. maybe once i get some furniture in my apartment it will seem more like a home than some place i just happen to have a key to.

but also settling in means this is permanent. i don't know why i am treating this whole thing like a burden. maybe i should just pretend i am on some amazing adventure. where everything is temporary. including this nagging feeling in my mind. you know how you get the night before a big test? stessed (to the max) when you feel like you haven't studied enough. i feel like that every night before bed. sleep is a luxury these days and so is being rested.

i don't like anxiety.

i do enjoy riding my bike around houston though. it still scares the holymotherpearl out of me sometimes. but it's very enjoyable. i need to get my old road bike down here. so travis and i can properly begin our bike gang.

as weird and stressful as things are right now i just know one thing "everything is going to get lighteeeeeeeer, even if it never gets betteeeeer"

so excited for acl.